


among all iterations, i see we're the same

by lumenslorebox



Series: walking with linked hands, down by the mobius strip [2]
Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: An attempt to explain Wraith's portal stuff, DarkSparks, Dimension Travel, F/F, Heavy Amounts of Cuddling, Lesbian pining, Mobius Theory, Nerding out about things, Pining, Portals, Science, Worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22972006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumenslorebox/pseuds/lumenslorebox
Summary: Wraith discovers that there is other versions of herself out there in the mobius strip, and she brings Wattson along as she sets out to learn something from each of them.[A story of discoveries, following your own advice, and domestic dates.]
Relationships: Wattson | Natalie Paquette/Wraith | Renee Blasey
Series: walking with linked hands, down by the mobius strip [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1650874
Comments: 8
Kudos: 56





	1. it starts with a small flap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wattson finds a way to stick around the workshop.  
> [ Alternate Wattson and Wraith from [the earlier fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22829038).]

Routines often change. It’s the only thing common in her life. 

Natalie is not quite sure when it changed for her. At one point in her life, she was so accustomed to working with her father that losing him almost made her feel incomplete as an engineer everytime she worked, with distractions always reminding her of what could have been. However, the peace and quiet of working alone has immediately become her new norm, with nothing but her organized mess as company and herself to discuss ideas with. 

For a while, she was okay with working alone. Working with others always makes for stressful days, where she has to balance focus on her work and keeping up interesting dialogues with whoever she is working with at the workshop. In the Apex HQ's common workshop, she often has to deal with having to explain her work, or having to juggle light talk with making sure she's doing everything right. And while she is fond of her fellow legends, they're too loud. Too distracting. 

Despite rules she's often holed up in her room to work nowadays, only coming out when the other legends have requests for maintenance or anything they want looked at. Her and the other tech-savvy legend Crypto are often the pair holed up in the workshop, and Natalie is glad he doesn't like talking either, because she can finish up work and leave to do her own thing. 

That's always how it's been ever since she became a legend for the Apex Games. Sit around the common workshop for a bit for maintenance reasons, then flee the scene to her room where the real experimenting can start. Then she works all night and wakes up to pretend she's gotten enough sleep for any match or things she may have to do, then do it all again. 

But then, sometimes her routine just changes for good. And for once, Natalie is happy about it. 

It happened in a span of weeks. Natalie could blame it on herself for taking so long and being awkward about it, but she believes it's both on her and Wraith, her fellow legend whose real name she didn’t even know before. They have always thought of each other as friends (somehow), but the skirmisher was never the type to focus on technology, and so she only sees her at downtimes after games or day work. Wraith seems to like hanging out with her to discuss work or the Games, or to have heated discussions over asinine things. 

Still, they talk a lot, and it's enough for Natalie to think they're more than just colleagues or work friends. Slightly more than work friends, for sure. 

However, she’s noticed that she hasn’t seen her for the past week. She wasn’t in the Games at all last week, and she didn’t show up at any of the communal dinners, too. Natalie isn’t sure what it meant, and she wanted to ask the other legends when she’s free. She thought maybe the HQ would have said something, but nothing. 

It was a little odd to work with it at the back of her mind. 

Then the workshop’s door beeps, and Wraith walks in. She has a box of stuff in hand, wires spilling out of the edges like a display of fireworks. She unceremoniously dumped the box’s contents on a random workshop table, grabbed a small welding box and immediately busied herself to work for the next hour or so. 

Wattson kept looking on, because Wraith was so distractingly _bad._ It was so hauntingly distracting on how _exposed_ she was to getting electrocuted. She wasn’t wearing goggles, so the engineer could just _see_ her pale blue eyes that’s definitely not going to see anytime soon once welding sparks land on them. She wasn’t wearing proper gear, she wasn’t even wearing _gloves,_ and why is she wearing shorts in the workshop? Does she want to burn her perfectly fine legs? Her hair is in a slick bun on top of her hair but it’s dangling _everywhere,_ and it _will_ catch on fire if she doesn’t pin all of it back. 

The skirmisher is handling _electronics._ At least, the engineer assumes she’s handling electronics. 

After finally deciding to pick up a set of safety gear for her, Wraith jumps from her seat, smoke coming out of her cubicle. What followed is a string of expletives, and a small wisp of smoke from whatever she was working on. 

The engineer quickly ran to where she was, and managed to immediately unplug everything before grabbing the fire blanket somewhere in the emergency kit and throwing it on the table, smothering the fire entirely. 

The skirmisher has fled to the corner of the workshop, where she's grabbed an HQ-issued first-aid kit to tend to the burns on her hands. Natalie gently grabs the skirmisher’s callused hands to assess the damage -- judging from the red splotches on her skin and fingers, she most likely accidentally touched a live wire, _and_ somehow welded her hand. 

Natalie pops in a syringe -- the same stuff they use in the arena, just to accelerate healing -- and proceeds to grab a cold pack somewhere in the kit to press on the burns. Ajay was out doing her own errands, so this is all they can do until she returns. 

“Sorry.” Wraith is avoiding eye contact, probably realizing the silliness of it all. “This is probably really dumb.”

“We all start somewhere, _mon dieu_. Just make sure to wear insulation gloves next time.” A sheepish smile, before the engineer points at the rack of protection gear on the far wall. “Don’t want the best skirmisher of the Apex Games to perish in an electrical fire.” 

“I read that I needed these, but I didn’t know where to look for them.” The skirmisher looks down, watching the engineer tend to her burns. “I thought… well, I thought I’ll be lucky and won’t get into any trouble.”

“Didn’t know you’re the kind to gamble risks like that, especially over what I assume is a quick maintenance check.” 

That earned her a laugh from Wraith. “In my defense, other people in this building have bigger risks than getting zapped.”

All Natalie could do was hum in assent as she takes off the cold pack and digs around the kit for some form of burn cream and slathering a healthy amount of the cream on the burns. _It’s true,_ she thinks. The other legends are doing other, more complicated and dangerous maintenance work, but it’s not like they care about their own safety. If they do, they know the risks, and they know how to avoid them. Natalie doesn’t even know how much Wraith knows about engineering. 

“What were you fixing anyway?” he engineer grabbed some bandages and snipped off half of it before quickly wrapping it around Wraith’s hand.

“Nothing.” After a long, really awkward pause, Wraith follows it up. “Well, it’s my bracer. It was glitching out on me.” 

_Glitching out?_ “Like how?” 

A long, drawn out pause, as the skirmisher watches her finish up her bandages. As soon as it’s secure and on place, she speaks up.“The display,” Wraith says, walking to where she was working and pointing at the small screen on the main panel of the bracer. It’s small and turned off, but Natalie has a guess that it’s not working as intended, especially now that the edges of it are burned to a crisp. “It’s… shorting?” 

It looked as easy as a fix on the wires, but Natalie may have to check. “What does this measure exactly?”

“Void stuff. It measures energy levels, distances, that kind of thing.” 

“Mm, I see.” The engineer seats herself by the worktable, and pulls up a chair close to her so Wraith can watch if she wants, as she went to go get her toolbox. Upon returning to the table, she realizes she hasn’t asked permission if she could even touch it, but Wraith was seated as if she’s more than willing to backseat for now. 

“Can I… can I fiddle with it a bit?” It doesn’t hurt to ask.

Once again, Wraith pauses. But she nods after a while. Natalie makes quick work of dismantling the bracer and cleaning some dust and soot off along the way, all with Wraith’s watchful eyes. After taking off some layers, the problem became rather apparent. “I think the power supply is not routing properly. I can fix it and adjust it so it won’t be a problem in the near future. Does that sound good?”

“Yes!” Wraith looks really excited, Natalie notes. The skirmisher’s smile is probably warmer than intended. “Yes. Thank you.”

“Okay!” Natalie reassembles the bracer and gently puts it back in the box before putting away her tools. “Come back in the weekend, I can get this done--”

“No!”

“Oh, are you in a rush? I can try--”

“No, not really.”

“Then what is it?”

“I was hoping… I could watch you fix it. For future reference.” Wraith has stood up at this point, posture tense. Or nervous? It’s hard to guess. “I’m not in a rush, take as much time as you need, but… I want to learn how to fix my things.” 

That’s a reasonable request. Back in Natalie’s engineering days, some clients really did request to oversee the maintenance or repair work. Most actually do have genuine concern over their machinery or have a genuine intent to learn, just because. In those situations however, the engineer mostly refuses, because it’s hard to coordinate schedules with the clients. With Wraith however… they’re practically living under one roof. It’s hard to say no to. 

“That’s all right.” Natalie finishes packing up her toolbox before she fully faces Wraith. All she needs to do is clear some details and it sounds like a plan. “But I have work to do right now, and I need to go for a supply run tomorrow.” 

“When will you be fixing it?”

“Maybe in a few days? If you want, you can come with me tomorrow, I’ll buy the stuff I need for your bracer along with the supplies for here." She remembers the incident a few days ago when Octane's legs went into the workshop in a molten pile because he thought it was a good idea to walk through the lava fissure in World's Edge without any assistance. It's fixed now, but now the workshop is out of certain metals as a result.

“I can come with you, sure. I’ll meet you in the lobby tomorrow noon, before lunch?”

“That sounds like a plan!” 

Sounds like a plan. 

A vague one, but it works.

* * *

And just like that, it all changes. 

There's nothing wrong with going out with a work friend to do some errands. And there's no need to dress so nicely for it, either. But Natalie finds herself preparing for it like it was a date, poring over her outfits on what is suitable for both an errand run and for looking good in case the media sees them out. 

In the end, she opted for some blue-grey denim coveralls over a plain shirt with the biggest, most comfortable sneakers she could find, thinking that she may need to do some heavy lifting to load all of the supplies on the mini-truck. She knew there’s people who would help, but you can’t be too prepared. She puts her standard glove over her prosthetic as well, just so all the metal doesn’t look too jarring to any bystander; and she also put on some makeup after accidentally pulling an all-nighter once more after adjusting her pylons. 

It turns out, as she saw Wraith waiting in the lobby, that preparing a _little_ may have been worth it, as the skirmisher looks… nice. The skirmisher showed up in workout gear, specifically a really nice gradient purple dri-fit shirt, and what looks like yoga pants paired with walking shoes and (intentionally?) mismatched socks.

Natalie wasn't staring at the whole view. Definitely not. 

Wraith may have seen her eyeing her clothing, because she immediately looked embarrassed. "I just thought we might have to walk around a lot, so I might as well."

Natalie laughs. "You know we're bringing a mini-truck, right?"

All the skirmisher could do was smile. "You can never be too prepared, I suppose."

"You still look good, _ma belle_.” Natalie offers her hand, ready to lead her to the truck to begin their day. “Let's go?"

Heading to the warehouse was easy. Natalie hasn’t driven in a while, but she still got her license and the warehouse is a good thirty minutes away from the HQ. Once they got to the warehouse, the staff knew her, and didn't make the transaction between them and the Apex Games that big of a deal, so things went a little smoother. They got most of the specific parts they needed for the workshop and parts for maintenance work for the ring, and as the warehouse staff was loading the materials on the truck and they made triple-sure the count was right, the engineer started asking about specific pieces for Wraith's bracer. 

Then they said they’re out of the damn tiny piece of metal and they have to go somewhere else for the very specific part. 

Stumped and their schedule now a bit of a mess, Wraith suggested they eat out for a bit while they discuss what to do next. The engineer has a good guess that while her abilities are intrinsic and is a part of the skirmisher herself, the device lets her limit herself so she can fight for longer and better. While Wraith can still fight at the match next week with her gear, it would give her a disadvantage to not be able to measure whatever it is the display is measuring. 

Natalie points out a random restaurant, a Southeast Asian place she’s been eyeing for a while. Wraith seems to agree and walks towards it almost immediately. The break would be a good opportunity to ask about her general maintenance in the HQ, since she’s gotten so desperate as to resort to DIY measures to fix her own things. 

“I thought you can get your things fixed in the HQ,” Natalie says as they walk into the restaurant and immediately get seated. She’s not sure if they were recognized. “The workshop is mostly for maintenance, not for repairs…” 

“Yeah, I tried with the admin,” Wraith says, eyeing the menus they’ve been handed, “but recently they’re answering less and less every time I have questions about, well… myself.” 

They take a brief moment to pick out their food, none of which they’re even remotely familiar with, but Natalie is always willing to try something new. Wraith, on the other hand, took longer to place an order for something. They handed in their orders and got their drinks before an awkward silence settled in. Wraith almost immediately finished her drink, a nice looking mango juice, and there was a long minute of nothing but the sound of her attempting to sip her drink between ice cubes. 

Natalie doesn’t really know what to do, but she likes to see the good in most things. She never really bothered with admin’s repair service, since she knew how to fix her own things most of the time. She knew how every pylon works, she knew what every single screw holds down, and if she had the time she would make new iterations of all of her projects each time. Perhaps Wraith’s situation can be a good chance to learn the ins-and-outs…?

“I guess it’s good, right?”

The sipping noises stopped. “It’s not good. How is this good?” Wraith sounded almost angry. _Almost_. “Who knows if they have other plans, that’s why they aren’t answering me.”

“We can find out answers ourselves, is what I’m saying. We can learn to fix your gear, and you never have to ask them for help about it ever again.” Natalie’s specialty may be electronics but she still takes pride with her mechanical skills, and reverse-engineering devices has always been one talent she’s grown to be proud of over time. 

“I don’t know, I’m not the best with tech things…I know I used to know these, but…” Wraith taps her drink glass with her nails. “Things have just been… confusing.”

“Yeah, I know. Engineering’s not that easy to get into, but I can teach you what I know--”

“No, it’s not that.” Wraith’s smile can only be described as sheepish. “My memory has been a little on the bad side, especially recently. If you ask me to remember who won in the matches a few months ago, I won’t have any answer to you even if it was me.” 

“Hm, yeah, I get it,” Natalie says. “It’s mostly about instinct though. Pretty sure you got a lot of that.”

“...You can say that.” Wraith looks away. She seems unsure as to how to handle the situation. “I'm not one to doubt your judgment."

Natalie is not _entirely_ sure, but she knows that the skirmisher is figuring out a lot of things about herself, and with the discovery that she’s having memory issues, it all falls to pieces as to why she’s not too receptive to the idea of looking into details. What's the point after all, if there's a lot of factors getting in the way? She knows she got in the Apex Games for this, and there is probably a lot of factors in play, but....

"We can try it out for this one. If it doesn't work out, then you're free to back out.” “Just sit with me as we look over your tech… sounds good?"

“I suppose taking some classes from you won’t hurt." Wraith's smiling, with a hand under her chin and looking quite satisfied. "Especially someone as good as you.”

The food arrives before Natalie could even respond and she realizes how hungry she is as she tries out the unfamiliar meal. She is unfamiliar with the flavors or whatever they have used to make this taste as it is, but the sourness of the soup almost feels rather homey and savory in equal measures.

She's pretty hungry, since she did help out with carrying some of the bigger supplies to the truck, so she was able to finish half of her food before realizing that she is with someone and she’s been silent this whole time. 

Glancing at Wraith, they're eating rather slowly, taking small bites once in a while. Natalie can't tell if they like the meal, but if she's still eating, that's a good sign. 

The engineer also notes she's watching her rather intently. 

Natalie nudges her bowl. ".... Do you want to try this?"

Wraith nods silently. 

Without thinking much about it, Natalie takes her spoon and takes some of her soup before offering it to the skirmisher. 

It took a solid second before Natalie realizes what she's doing, but before she can joke about it and pull her hand away, Wraith comes close and actually takes a sip. 

Time almost seems to have frozen in place as Wraith processes the taste for a few seconds.

"It's sour." Wraith finally speaks. "It's good."

"Right?" Natalie finally pulls away, not knowing how to act. She just focuses on the food. "This is great! If you’d like, we can come back here next time."

" _Next_ time?"

Suddenly, all Natalie wants to do is hide in the workshop and don’t talk to anyone ever again. She’s surprised Wraith seems okay with all of this, taking all of her weird errors with stride. She decides to just focus on finishing her meal, but instead she decides to just follow through and tell her what she thinks. “Yeah. Next time, if you want to come with me for next month’s supply run. If you’re free, of course. I’d like you to come with me, if this isn’t too boring for you, _ma belle_.” 

“It’s not boring,” Wraith says. There’s her usual contemplative pause, then she speaks. “I just don’t know what to say right now, especially with my stuff broken. We will see if my stuff’s fixed quickly, then maybe I can come with you for the next run.” 

“Amazing!” The thought of doing this again -- just going out on errands and wandering around -- is strangely appealing for the engineer, and she couldn’t help but smile and laugh. “That sounds like another plan, _mon dieu!_ ” 

“But first…” Wraith says, “The bracer.”

“Oh, yeah. Right.” Natalie tries to think about it, since she’s only slightly familiar with the area, but she is pretty certain there may be other options in the area, although it would involve lots of walking. “I’m not sure, but I remember a couple of hardware shops nearby. We might find something.” 

Upon a quick check in Wraith's phone, there are three other hardware shops in their general area, and the pair immediately planned out a route to visit them one by one by foot. _It would be a fun time,_ Natalie thinks. _It's good exercise, at least._

They finished up their food -- Natalie notes that Wraith finished her noodles, so she seemed to really like it -- and asked for the bill. After paying and leaving behind a tip, they set out on their way.

The third, farthest hardware shop did have what they were looking for, but they only sold the specific piece in a pack of twenty, so Natalie has to look for something to use the other pieces on. Projects come easy to her anyway, so she sets that aside as a problem for the future. The hardware shop owner also seemed to recognize both of them, but the woman didn’t say anything except offer her a discount, which the engineer refused. 

After wandering around and finding other things for the workshop as well as other interesting places Natalie notes they could visit later when they go out again and have more time, she realized they’re pretty much done now. They can walk back to the truck and drive home and call it a day. 

Natalie doesn’t feel like coming home, however. 

“So uh, what now?” Wraith is standing close, whose hand somehow found its way on the crook of Natalie’s arm as they pace around the sidewalk. The sun is setting, and the gold goes nicely with the brick and concrete of the buildings around them as the streetlights start opening one by one. 

Natalie really doesn’t want to go back to the HQ yet. 

“Hm…Most of the repairs and all isn’t scheduled for tomorrow, so…” It felt rather right for Natalie to just hold her hand and lead her to places. “Do you want to just hang out somewhere?” 

They eventually found a cafe that didn’t look like a cafe, with places for normal cafe seats on one side and a playplace of some kind on the other, with tables and corners situated on little cave-type spaces in the walls. Wraith ordered both of them drinks and snacks and made a beeline for one of the little caves, kicking off her shoes and entering the mat area before climbing up the short ladder and sitting cross-legged by the low table. 

She’d admit that she went here once or twice, but she was mostly at the study area because it was relatively more quiet here at their peak hours than the late night times at the HQ. But she has never really been in the playplace, and she’s seen families and couples hole up on the cave areas. She never really thought it would be appropriate without bringing someone with her, however…

Their order arrives, and looks at Wraith absently watching the children play around nearby as she sips her iced tea. It was a pretty crowded cafe, but Natalie finds it that she doesn’t mind the sound of children playing and idle talk between the other customers. This corner is just fine, and maybe if time would allow it, they can stay here for a little longer. 

She watches Wraith crawl back to her seat, put down her drink, and help herself to a breadstick. 

Then it hits her. 

“This is like a date, isn’t it...”

Wraith almost spits out her food. “Are you saying it _isn’t?”_

“What, so you came with me _knowing_ it’s a date?” They're friends at most; at least, that's what Natalie thinks. She never really thought a date that consists of them going out for supplies and visiting several hardware stores then eating in between would constitute as a fun time -- she always thought a date would be more exciting. “I would have told you… but surely this isn’t that exciting of a date.” 

“I thought I wouldn't get invited for errands, otherwise… no one really want to hang out with me in the first place." A sheepish smile flashes on Wraith’s face, before she takes a sip of her drink and focuses her entire attention on the engineer. "Not that I mind, I did have fun today. I learned a lot already, and you weren't even trying to teach me anything."

“I’m glad you had fun, Wraith.” Natalie reaches out and holds one of the skirmisher’s hand in her own, making sure she uses her actual hand instead of her prosthetic. Her warmth radiates through her and is making her feel rather giddy. “We will hopefully have more exciting times than this, _ma chérie_.” 

Wraith suddenly looks away. She looks doubtful. A contemplative silence settles in, so much it almost turns awkward, but Natalie still held her hand and waited. 

She’s okay if Wraith is not yet sure, she’s okay with waiting. She can just help her fix things for now or just be a friend, and it would be just as good. If today was where she wanted to stop, Natalie would let her--

“It’s Renee, by the way.” Pale blue eyes meet hers, and Natalie feels her sincerity through it all. “I suppose you should know, since I’ve been calling you with your name too.” 

“Oh.” 

Oh. 

It takes a minute for Natalie to process.

_Renee…_

“Th... thanks,” Natalie finally says. “Thank you, Renee.” 

Renee laughs, a low and melodic hum that’s making Natalie feel giddy. “So, do you want some of my breadsticks?” Renee’s hand already has food in her hand to offer. As Natalie accepts the offered breadstick with a laugh, she thinks on how her downtime could be any better.

* * *

The next day, they met up in the workshop for the fixes. Renee even brought her food, as a payment of sorts for the fixes. Natalie wasn't expecting anything, but she appreciated the thought, and she found that she enjoyed the skirmisher’s rough approximation of the soup from the other day.

The bracer was a really quick fix, but the whole ordeal took the entire day. Renee asked a lot of questions about the technology, and while the engineer didn't make the bracer, she offered some guesses on what things could be for or what they do. The broken display was simple enough, but she knew little about the other parts of the piece. 

She would like to know more, however. And if Renee would like to, she would like to watch and help discover the void with her.

Even after her bracer was fixed, it became routine now for Renee to come pass by the workshop. Natalie would be working, and Renee would watch for a bit and listen to the engineer's thoughts about a project, before the engineer drags her to the kitchen for snacks and drinks, and it eventually becomes the skirmisher's turn to share some stuff she has been reading about about files she has found or new, unrelated things she has discovered. 

Other people are quite loud in the workshop. 

Not Renee. 

And Natalie has taken comfort with their silence. At first, the silence is awkward, and there's nothing Natalie wanted but to hear Renee speak her thoughts. And while she still enjoys it, she soon realized that Renee is not expecting her to fill the silence all the time. So she’s just fine working in her presence, working together in relative silence, knowing that the moment is for themselves and to share it is for later. 

Months are quick to pass by, and the feeling Natalie captures is contentment. 

The engineer is also not quite sure how to call what’s happening. She’s pretty certain that Renee is also figuring things out, and Natalie is more than happy to help her along the way. But at the same time, she’s not sure where things stand, or what to call Renee, or if it is leading anywhere. But in the many years she’s spent alone, she realizes that it doesn’t really matter if there’s anything else, just as long as she’s with her. 

Natalie’s content with where things stand.

Helping Renee with herself has always been the intention.

Falling in love is just a nice bonus. 

* * *

“Nat, what’s the occasion? Why are you giving me a gift?”

“Nothing! I just want to give you something.”

“What’s this...?”

“Just open it, _mon amour._ ” 

Renee did, and she was awfully careful with taking off the wrapping, taking her time to cut the tape around the edges instead of ripping the whole thing off like how others might go about it. 

The skirmisher holds the unwrapped gift in her hands. “It’s… a notebook?” 

“Yep. Also some stickers I got from a fair, just in case you’re into that. And a pen!” Natalie gently takes the journal and flips through, showing Renee the dotted pages as well as the pocket at the back where she tucked some sticker sheets, as well as the metal space pen. “I just thought that since you said you’re afraid you might forget details… now you won’t!” 

Renee looks at the items with amazement, and for a few seconds she just flips through the empty pages and even hugs it close to smell the pages. Finally, she comes close to Natalie for an embrace. 

“Thank you so much, Nat.” Her voice is soft and warm, and he tightens the hug like her life depended on it. 

“Anything for you, _mon amour_!” 

When she pulls away, Renee has that odd, thoughtful look in her eyes -- she looks away for a split second, and later she holds the engineer’s hands. 

“I actually have some news for you. I meant to tell you this before but.. It’s pretty big.” 

“If it took you this long to update me, then surely it’s rather exciting!” 

“I’m sure you’d find it _really_ exciting.” Renee takes out a folded sheet of paper and begins to unfold it. “So, you remember that time I told you I think I could explore the void and take a peek at things?”

“Yes?” Natalie couldn’t hide the excited anticipation. “How did it go?”

“I have a map now. I mostly explored a bit, but I haven't entered any specific parts yet.” Renee opens the notebook that was given to her, and she takes out a ripped page from a notepad with a chart of what looks like a mobius strip. “I haven’t covered all the bases, but it’s what it _feels_ like. I know they’ve always been there, but… a map can help me differentiate and seek out specific iterations.” 

A map! Of the void! Natalie thought that was impossible at first. Attempting to make a map of the void almost feels like trying to map out every planet in space, or every sand in the beach, and for a while the engineer remembers being afraid that once Renee started exploring, she may not be able to come back as she is. But not only has she done the impossible, she has also mapped it out in something so simple. 

“Nat? Nat, are you crying?”

The engineer only felt the tears the second Renee pointed it out, and she smiles as she wipes away what she could. She’s so excited to see her grow, and to see her learn and discover new things and find out about herself, and she could not help but feel that her heart is blooming at it’s prettiest and warmest. “I’m just… I’m very happy for you, _ma chérie_!”

“I was also going to ask you something about it, actually...” Renee’s hands find their way around Natalie’s, just holding her and taking time to pick out words. “Now that I mapped it out, I was wondering if… well, if you’d like to come explore it with me? Contact some alternate versions of ourselves?” 

Natalie didn’t even have to think about it. 

“I’d _love_ to explore with you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEVERAL NOTES:
> 
>   * As of March 3, I made edits. One reason why I shouldn't post fics late at night and really sleep-deprived is because I will end up leaving unfinished paragraphs behind. Sorry, those are fixed now.
>   * Find me at [lumenizampel on twitter](https://twitter.com/lumenizampel), where I do art and talk about things. I even have [art of the casual outfits they wore in the "date"](https://twitter.com/lumenizampel/status/1233030237148999680)!
>   * This is supposed to be multi-chapter (stuff about dimension jumping and AUs, you know), but since IDK when I can update this because I'll be having my go at IntRenAiMo/NaNoRenO, this remains a one-shot for now. I don't want to set expectations ... sorry.
> 



	2. smudged by your purple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wraith calls out.  
> [Last pre-jump chapter.]

Calling out just seems… it seems like a good, attractive concept.

Well, at the time. 

The only thing is that she doesn’t know how to do it. 

Her research has been going great, and she has no one but Natalie to thank. While the electrical engineer admits that it isn’t really her expertise, her company and her sheer curiosity into the topic has grounded her into learning, and she feels as if she wouldn’t even be looking into the void if it wasn’t for her learn-all attitude.

Renee has almost everything at her disposal to come to every single iteration she wishes, even ones that are far-off from her realm of imagination. But figuring out the logistics may take a long while, and she’s not quite sure how long it would take to travel, or if she could stay for long periods of time in the void while figuring out where to go.

It is a little bit of an adventure. Renee still finds it rather exciting though. It almost feels like exploring a whole new world, one that’s personal to her… yet still quite foreign. The thought of finding something new about herself is very exciting! 

From what she has picked up, there can be several places she can check out within the mapped space. She knows where she is, and she can go there just fine, but… Renee wanted to check something. A curiosity, perhaps.

How much does she differ from the other iterations?

She’s mapped out the place, sure, but her portals and the space are pretty much the only thing she knows how to manipulate. Renee has taken extra care every time she passes through her portals and by the void nowadays, because she hopes something might give her a clue. So far, nothing specific has called out to her, and she mostly just counts and measures things to be certain. With Natalie being able to fix her counter, recording was a pretty easy task, in case she may need to calculate about going longer in the future. 

When it isn’t time intensive, she even looks around the other variations of her to see which ones she can check out. She’s seen some real interesting ones, but so far none of them stood out to her enough that she would want to visit, and she honestly could not tell what’s the difference from a cursory glance. Sometimes they just… feel different, but nothing about any of her nearby iterations calls to her that loudly. 

There are a couple she has seen that catches her attention for a bit, though. One of which is an iteration who doesn’t seem too far off from where she is right now. The Wraith on the other side looked… tired, and hesitant to do many things. She is very curious on how things differ between Wraiths of similar setups but slightly different personalities. 

How can another Renee Blasey be any different between different universes? Surely not that much…?

The other one she’s taken an interest on is something that has been making her curious, because she hasn’t seen any sign of a match, but the setup from her view looks almost the same. She’s seen that there’s no sign of a fight at all, despite the similarities with setups. No sign of games, and she barely sees other legends from where she’s taken a peek. Is there even anything similar with her and that Wraith?

It’s all Renee could do, however… take peeks. She knows she could easily visit and drop by these new universes, but until she knows for certain where she’s going and what exactly to do, she would rather keep her distance. Natalie has reminded her that while the other universes are, well, just _other_ universes to her, the other Wraiths still live lives like she does.

It’s a nice reminder, but it’s just making her more curious about the differences. She observes every portal, every space, every footstep when she could. Recently, she started bringing a camera with her, one of those old ones that print your photos immediately. It just seemed more convenient.

Renee brought it to her next match, and after winning the champions of the arena title quite easily, she took a portal from the arena to the HQ, telling Natalie that she’s tired and will inspect the portal she made before taking a nap. They ended so early that it was afternoon when they won, and she just felt like doing more personal work for now. Usually it is not recommended to leave the arena in any means that isn’t the dropship, but she’s too lazy and impatient to wait for the ride, and she really wants to take a nap right about now. 

After coming out of the other end and plopping down on her bed, she realizes that she needs to document things, and takes out her camera to snap a quick photo of the portal. 

_Wait._

The print comes out, and the space of the void is a solid black, while the edges are all hauntingly bright, almost like little suns framing the void. She compares the print from what she sees in reality, and the real live version looks more muted, with the void a bit more of a mirror than solid black.

_Wait!_

“I’m not yet done,” she speaks back into the void. She looks closer at the portal. Like before, her reflection stares back at her, covered by a dark desaturated purple, swirling around the space like a vertical pond. 

She measures the distance she has travelled. A few kilometers from the entry point. It’s a little farther compared to her other jumps, but it’s not the worst, and it’s definitely not her farthest. Renee sticks her head inside to take a peek. Like usual, everything seems like it’s covered by a dark translucent curtain, where every iteration nearby her is doing their own thing. 

She forgot to check the time before she left, but the jump _felt_ pretty quick, so that seems like a good enough measurement for now. 

Having nothing else to do and take note of, Renee comes back out, and settles herself back on her bed after taking every note she could, closing her eyes and ready to sleep the rest of the day off.

Renee’s almost about to fully doze off when she hears her voice in her head.

_Something’s wrong._

She’s too tired to deal with it right now. _“ No, there isn’t.”_

_Since when did you question our judgment?_

_Open your eyes. Now._

_"I’m tired.”_ She mutters back. _“I’ll just take a nap.”_

_Fine. Deal with it later, then._

_"Why are you so condescending?”_

_Because!_

_They’re coming._

What the fu--

Renee gets jolted up by loud crashing, and the sound of shoes and knees against her bedroom floor. When she opens her eyes, she’s greeted by a mess of a room and a good amount of people crowding around her personal space like rats, lying around and groaning in pain. 

_It’s quite right, don’t you think? Weren’t you taking a nap?_

After she rubs the sleepiness away from her eyes, she takes a moment to identify whoever is in her room right now -- Natalie and Anita, her fellow champions in the last match, and two HQ staff: a large woman who she recognizes as security personnel, and a smaller suited person who she remembers was their dropship pilot last match. 

The large security woman kneels and addresses the skirmisher directly. “I am so sorry, miss Wraith. This was definitely my idea.” 

Before Renee managed to say a word, Anita immediately cut in, glaring at the pilot. “We could have just headed home normally if _she_ just fixed the engine--”

“I wasn’t in charge of maintenance today!” The pilot obviously does not care if Anita was popular or not, and stood up from the floor. “We had no other choice, unless staying on a murder island overnight is a better idea to you?”

“The place has a curfew…” Natalie tries to interject. “That was our best shot, and we did it--”

“All of you,” Renee manages to say. Everyone else goes silent. “All of you, _get out of my room_.” 

After finding a way around the portal, everyone scrambles out of the room and is led to the common area where Anita almost shoves the two staff personnel on a couch. While Renee wants nothing to do with this incident, they did wreck her room, and she’s involved now whether she wants to or not, so she followed them. Natalie was nice enough to make sure the security and the pilot was comfortable, but it’s evident both of them are a little worried. Whether about losing their jobs or losing their lives, Renee couldn’t really tell, but right now she’s listening to whatever is happening.

Anita, however, was a little less patient. “These two got us stuck in World’s Edge,” she explains, almost slamming the table in anger, but just the mere action of putting her hand down instinctively makes the pilot flinch. “Dropship broke down, and this _expert_ didn’t fix it in time, so we had to take Wraith’s little escape route. What are we even arguing about here other than their sanctions?” 

Natalie comes to defend her. “She’s hired as a _pilot._ She did her job getting us out, even if it wasn’t through the ship, so there’s nothing to talk about here.” 

“Wattson, this is a bloodsport,” Anita reasons, “but sure wouldn’t be fun if we died via crash-landing now, would it?” 

“It’s done! We’re home safe!” Natalie’s patience is running out. “Why are you still angry?” 

The soldier gestures at the two staff. “These two’s incompetence will get us all killed eventually!” 

“In our defense, you’re on solid land right about now,” the security suddenly speaks, standing up. She is so tall that her head almost hits the ceiling, and Renee could tell it’s a last-ditch attempt to intimidate the soldier. “If we didn’t do that, you would be spending the night in the ring, and I cannot protect legends from their own idiocy.” 

Anita didn’t seem to back down for a second, but she shot a glare at almost everyone before walking off. Not exactly giving in, but more on not caring. “Ah, who the fuck cares,” Anita says, leaving the area with her pack and heading to the direction of her room. “I’ll file the report for the HQ regarding this incident. You unemployed ladies better do the same now.” 

Renee hears the pilot mutter “what an asshole” under her breath as Anita walks off, and her dorm room door slams shut and audibly locks closed. 

“What's up with her?” Renee noticed that Anita was somehow more annoyed than usual. Renee remembered her being rather calm before she left the arena. 

Natalie merely laughs. “When you left, they said the commendations, and a newer legend was announced as the final kill leader... the one with the tattoos and the bright legs that took me out earlier in the match. She didn’t take it well for some reason.” Renee remembers the woman, a short lady in braids who stood out like a sore thumb but somehow managed to make the most out of it. Maybe the soldier knew her beforehand. 

But Anita’s personal tantrums are none of her business. The skirmisher turns her attention back to the two staff, who both have stood up now, stress evident in both of them. The pilot’s braids are unravelling, and she’s grabbed on the security’s arm like her life depended on it. 

Renee glances at their nametags, which both have the same family name. It’s a common family name, perhaps, or maybe they’re sisters. “Skaale, we can file the reports for you, if you’d like,” she offers. From what the skirmisher has heard, she does not doubt their skill, only their luck. “If it comes from us, they might take your side better.” 

The pilot Skaale perks up with the offer. “If it does not inconvenience you.”

“Can you recount what happened?” 

The two staff did, in great detail. Turns out there was protocol to shut down the dropship engines during commendations, and it wouldn’t turn on or get fixed in time, so they had to take Wraith’s portal before the island shuts down and the whole place gets engulfed by storms. The pilot Skaale would have to take the portal if it’s still up by the morning to properly fix the engine and fly back _with_ the dropship, and hopefully not get sanctioned by the HQ for not returning in time.

“And…” Renee finally asks, “why do you think my portal would still be there by tomorrow?”

“It’s still open now, right?” the security asks, checking her watch. “It was open for a long time, I was surprised it was still there when we considered it as an option...”

“The whole thing took hours...” Natalie chimes. “It was a nice back-up.”

Renee runs back to her room, and sure enough, her portal is still there. She grabs her notebook on her way back to the common area. 

“Yeah, still there,” she says, walking back to her seat. “Weird. I just got back when you crashed through my portal.”

“It’s 9 in the evening, _mon amour_ ,” Natalie says.

…. What. 

* * *

After the staff had finally left with guarantees that the two legends will file their reports in defense of their jobs, an odd, settling silence has settled in the common room area.

It’s 10pm according to the clock. Every other legend in the barracks has gone to bed, or at least has stayed silent in their rooms to do their own thing. Renee assumes that it would be a slow time, and maybe Natalie would head to bed and sleep all of it off. Or get back to work maybe. 

Instead she puts down all of her gear, and walks close to Renee, where she reaches for her hand, holding it for a few moments before speaking. 

“Were you able to nap?”

“... not really.” 

“We can nap now, if you’d like.” 

_Rest._

That idea sounds rather lovely right about now. 

_Rest. It’s okay._

Both of them ended up being too lazy to get back to their rooms, so they ended up mostly kicking their shoes off and settling for the sofa, with Natalie leaning back against the plush of the foam while Renee leans against her shoulder and she’s doing her own thing. The engineer has put down her hood and taken off her jacket, and so they look cozy and just at home despite what little wires she refuses to take off. The skirmisher grabs the nearby datapad and begins tapping in the report when Natalie speaks again. 

“Learned anything new?” 

The skirmisher has to think about it. From the observations, not so much, but the incident did reveal some things, and she’s rather excited about them. So much that she finishes up the report in almost five minutes, then passes the datapad to Natalie.

“Not a lot of things,” Renee shares, “but what little I have learned is very interesting.” 

“Oh?” The tone in her voice flits up in pitch, eyes still focused on the datapad and tapping with intent. “What have you learned?” 

The skirmisher has taken out her journal and settles it on her lap, looking at the notes and observations she’s made about the recent portal. “I was really sure I almost just got back in my room when you came in, so I guess that confirms some theories…. time is weird on my side, I suppose.”

“But that never happened before…” Natalie finishes up the report and gently places the datapad back on the table, and Renee could feel that she’s looking at her notes. “Surely that’s not the case at all times.”

“Hm.” She flips back a few pages, noting her past jumps. In the arena, it didn’t matter -- the place has limits and rules, so they’re all similar, and did not really influence time, or have any particular difference. However, her other jumps outside the arena were longer… farther. 

Including this one. 

“Maybe the distance has an effect…” The skirmisher mutters, and she could feel the engineer wrap an arm around her. 

“Or maybe you’re tired, and we can look into this in the morning, _ma chérie_.” Renee does not even have to turn to know that Natalie is practically smiling right now. “We don’t have anything for tomorrow.” 

“But I might forget this when I wake up…”

“I’m here. I'll remember.” Natalie’s arms are tight around her, like how she’d cuddle a stuffed toy. “Now go take a nap now.” 

_It won’t hurt._

Renee has found both of them horizontal across the sofa, propped up a little by some well-placed pillows. She moves so she’s face-to-face with Natalie. “I’m just thinking.”

“You always are.” The engineer looks rather worried, almost trying not to show it. 

_Get your thoughts out to your world._

Renee decided to follow her voices' advice for once. “Would you hear me out, Nat?” 

“Sure. A nice story from you is always good, my love.” 

The skirmisher is suddenly not sure if she wants to share. She’s had the thought at the back of her head, and for a while she’s almost hesitant about it. If the portal does last for the whole night, and even longer, then maybe…

“I want to make the jump soon,” Renee shares. “If… if the portal lasts for the whole day, even the week… I want to try calling out.” 

For a moment, Natalie looks excited, ecstatic maybe. But later on as the idea settles, worries take over. “What’s… what’s your plan? You have one, right?”

“Come on, Nat,” Renee says with a smile, “of course, I do.” 

_No, you don’t._

Renee’s plan is mostly just to make the current portal lead _just_ to the void, but it’s not exactly a solid plan… or something that she knows the effect of. Will it actually get her the results she wanted? Or will it just turn out for the worse?

_It will help you._

_But even we do not know how._

She looks at Nat, and realizes that the engineer is looking at her expectantly, waiting for an elaboration. 

“Uh,” Renee starts, “it’s a very dumb plan.” 

Natalie just giggles. “It’s not dumb if it works.” 

“I don’t know what’s going to happen.” 

“Well, we will know if we try it, right?” 

“I guess so…” 

Natalie places her hands around Renee’s face. It’s a little awkward with how they’re laying down the sofa, but it’s oddly comforting. “ _Mon bebe…_ what are you afraid of?” 

“It…” An awkward laugh comes out of the skirmisher when she tries thinking of the possibilities. “It might explode on me, you know, among other things.” 

“Yeah, I guess that’s a valid worry.” Natalie _laughs,_ and for a while Renee forgot she had anything to worry about. She feels rather mournful when the engineer takes her hands off of her to sit up and adjust the pillows. “Can I see what you have?” 

Renee takes out her journal and flips to the page where she’s taped her void map on before showing it to her. She flips around the map, and reads the notes she has, noticing that Natalie looks at the big white circle she’s marked with a “YOU ARE (SOMEWHERE) HERE” to indicate their general area in the strip. 

Wraith thinks about the times she’s gotten into the portal. Most of her theories on the map are based on feeling, so any guesses about her location has mainly been based on pure speculation. But if she’s to guess, it’s the closest she has to correct, and that’s more than enough right now.

Natalie has been looking at the notebook for a long amount of time now. Renee watches her flip back and forth between pages, which just tell her she’s comparing some things. She looks interested, at least. Natalie has that look in her eye when she’s working on her machines.

The engineer later goes back to the mobius map, reading the notes for a good while, then makes circles around a specific part of the strip she’s investigated. “You checked there, right?”

_The closest you._

“Yeah, I passed it by recently, actually.” Renee remembers seeing herself, and…. “I saw you too.” 

“Oh.” Natalie flips through the notes even more, as if looking for something, but she looks back at Renee. “Anything… different?”

“Your hair’s buzzed on the sides.” As if on instinct, the skirmisher’s hand runs through Natalie’s scalp, looking for an undercut that isn’t there, messily unravelling several hair clips in the process. “They had little lightning patterns there too... cute stuff.” 

“I meant their world, dummy.” That earned a laugh from the engineer, at least. “But that’s something I could look into, if you’d like?” 

“Hm… maybe not now...” Renee’s hand is still ruffling Natalie’s short hair, and she accidentally unravels a short braid. She goes ahead and fishes out all the hair clips. “I like it as it is right now. But maybe you can come in to take a look?” 

That made Natalie stiffen up. “I… I can?”

“Yeah. Why not? You go through my portals all the time.” 

“Yes, but… this is a little different, don’t you think?” The engineer places the journal by the coffee table before her hands return to their rightful place around Renee the skirmisher’s back pressed against her front. “When I walk through your space, it's just to go to another place, but.. This isn’t exactly just another corner of the building, _mon amour_.” 

“Maybe once I make sure it’s safe… you can come with me.” 

Natalie hums her assent. 

There was nothing about it for a while. 

And Renee just thinks.

_Think._

_“ About what?”_

_Where to go. What to do._

She thinks that maybe bringing Natalie with her is a tall order. That it’s not something she can just drag her into. Sure, she’s said yes, but she always said yes to whatever she suggests… 

She doesn’t even know where she’s going. The nearest iteration sounds like a good idea. However…. 

She utters her words into the silence. “I have an idea.”

“Hm?”

“If this portal lasts long, I can try redirecting it to where I want to go.”

“Where do you want to go?” 

_Nearest._

“That one where you have an undercut,” Renee says. “If the portal stays open, that’s my choice.”

“That’s good,” Natalie says. Renee can tell she’s feeling sleepy. “If they’re too far from where we are, they might not know that we’re calling to them...” 

“Yeah, I had that thought.” The skirmisher’s hands find their way on the engineer’s. A contemplative silence settles in, and a random thought comes to her. “Somewhere out there… you know there might be a version of me that didn’t need to go to the Apex Games…”

“... or a version of you that’s not worrying.” Natalie laughs, but it’s obvious she’s feeling sleepy with how groggy she sounds. “Don’t fret, _mon amour_.” 

For the night at least, Renee has nothing to worry about.

* * *

She was woken up by a light tap on her shoulder.

Renee looks up, expecting it to be Natalie, but instead it’s the Skaale pair. The pilot is still in her flight suit, presenting her visitor ID, while the security looks like she’s carrying a large toolbox and a duffel bag.

If they’re here now... how long did they sleep again?

“I’m sorry to disturb your sleep, miss Wraith…” The pilot sounds and looks guilty, indeed. “But… I’d just like to let you know your portal is still there, and if you could open your door, we’d be gone before you know it.”

“How did you-- oh, right, windows…” Upon sitting up, it’s hard not to wake up Natalie, and as Renee rubs the sleepiness off her eyes, the engineer follows suit with her as they walk to the skirmisher’s room, where she can easily tell from the shifting noises and from the view by the door window that the portal is still there. 

She unlocks the door in a quick swipe, and as the Skaale pair are about to enter the portal, Natalie stops them both. “Are you sure you should leave without any of us to help you?” 

The pair both raises their hands in defense. “There’s no need!” they both say in chorus.

“My sister is good enough help,” the pilot says, gesturing towards the tall woman. Judging from her height and stature, Renee can only say that she’s right. 

“Take care, you two.” Renee waves them goodbye. The two staff members wave back, obviously looking a little afraid, but they immediately return to the task at hand and let the portal take them back to World’s Edge. 

The eerie void whooshing eventually dies down, and Renee could feel Natalie come closer to the portal. 

“What now?”

The skirmisher looks at the mess that is her room right now. Four people basically slammed themselves against her shelves, so now her desk and her items are in complete disarray. 

“We tidy up for now, I suppose.”

After scooting through the tight space between the portal and the door, they managed to at least throw some broken things to the trash, especially broken things that couldn’t be repaired and had no sentimental value whatsoever. Renee realizes she has a tendency to hoard things, and while Natalie admits she does that as well, she agrees that some things should be thrown away if she doesn’t need it anymore. The skirmisher manages to dispose of old arena memorabilia without much guilt, as well as some broken, unsalvageable scrap and figurines. 

She holds on to some old tech she used to frequently depend on, however. It may come in handy. 

After the room has looked rather decent -- not that tidy, but at least the floor is no longer covered in trash -- both of them look at the portal with interest. 

_What’s your plan again?_

“Uh, so I’ll… I’ll go in now, I guess.” 

Natalie comes closer to her. “Oh, okay. Do you need help?”

_A little help won’t hurt._

“What kind of help are you thinking about?” 

The engineer walks off for a while, and then returns with the journal, flipping through the pages until she gets to the mobius strip map. She also has with her a tiny earpiece, the one they usually use when they go in matches. 

“Where’s yours?” Natalie gestures to the earpiece. Renee has to look around for a few minutes before she finds hers, and she wears it snugly before coming bac to the engineer’s side. “I was thinking you can talk to me and tell me what’s happening as you go in, so it’s on the record, I suppose.” 

“That’s… I’ve never thought of that before.” It’s one way the engineer can come with her to the void, she thinks. Maybe in the future she could stream it to her the same way Octane does to his fans… but if the photo she took yesterday was any indication, it may need adjustments. 

For now, the earpiece will do. 

The engineer turns on the earpiece, and speaks to test to make sure it is working, adjusting it from the loud volume that it’s usually in when it’s used in the arena. “Let’s hope it works, whatever it is you’re doing…”

“Like you said, we won’t know unless we try, right?” 

The nervous laughter from the engineer is worrisome, but there’s only one way to assuage her fears. She briefly holds her hand and squeezes for a moment, before having to let go of her good luck charm that is Natalie.

She tries to be casual about it. “I will be back.” 

“I know you will be,” Natalie says. 

And then she walks backward into the portal, letting the void claim her, staining her vision of the outside in purple. 

.

...

_All right._

Renee walks around the familiar space of the void, and tries to look for the place she jumped from last, in hopes she can see how the Skaale sisters were doing. 

“Everything all right?” The radio buzzes, and Natalie’s voice comes through. 

“I’m good,” Renee says. “Just checking back in on the sisters first.” 

“Oh, so you can see how they’re doing? Without going through the other end?” 

As she walks to the space where she remembers going, she sees the glass-like surface blended in the darkness, and sure enough, the sisters are still there in World’s Edge, whose images are framed by the familiar ring of light around her portals. The pilot looks like she’s tidying up now, while the security is staring at the portal with mild interest. She can hear the faint, muffled hum of the dropship, so that’s enough hint for her to know that they’re finished.

“They’re done now,” Renee says through the radio. “They’re on the way back.” 

Natalie releases a relieved sigh she’s been holding. “That’s great!” 

“Closing the portal now…” The skirmisher has a little bit of an idea how to close just _one_ side of the path. She knows how to close _both sides_ , but most of the time she does it remotely through her bracer. 

Or maybe just thinking about it would work just as effectively.

Hm. 

Her hands experimentally touch the images as if it’s a glass pane, running her hands over the reflections, and for a split second she sees the security’s expression change as she does so. 

Then the frame of light disappears. 

“Natalie?” Renee chimes through the radio. “Is the portal still there?” 

“What?” Natalie’s voice becomes a little choppier, but after a few moments her voice is as clear as it was before. “Oh, yeah, still here. The light flickered a bit, though!” 

“I… I think I just closed one side of the portal.” She looks at the part she just closed and compares it with the other parts of the strip around her to make sure, and as she expected, they look almost identical. The portal is closed. 

_One down._

_Now the other._

“That’s great! Now… are you coming back?”

“Just… give me a minute, I guess.” Renee walks around the void, trying to feel out the space and which direction she’s going. Navigating through the dark void’s rifts and dips with nothing else except sensation is daunting, and she can only know her way by identifying the way the floor dips or how gravity changes. It’s not the best way to navigate, but it’s all she has. 

Eventually, she finds her mark. She sees the Wraith on the other side, doubtful and restrained. She sees the Wattson on the other side, with her undercut and smiling so brightly. 

_Maybe we can help. Let us help each other._

_Let us help you._

“Okay, I suppose this is the moment of truth…” Her hands go over the iteration in front of her, feeling the other dimension like it’s right across the void of glass panes between them. “Making a new portal.” 

_But not like this._

Oh, how excited and scared she is right now. 

Mostly excited.

Mostly scared.

Entirely overwhelming. 

_No._

“... Renee? _Ma cherie_? Are you well?”

Renee realizes her hands have been paused for a hot minute now, inches over just doing it. “What is it, Nat?”

“You’ve been silent for a while, _mon amour_. Did something happen?” 

“... nothing.” She decides to put her hands firmly over the surface, and grabs whatever void space she can physically hold. “Okay. Doing it now.”

Her plan is mostly just to rip the space open and hopes it does something, and that’s what she’s doing right about now. 

The only problem is that physically ripping the void open with her hands takes more strength and energy than she thought. 

She pulls and pulls, the void resisting, but she keeps attempting to yank it apart. Renee wishes she has more physical strength than this, but it’s all she has, and it’s all she will use to make herself a rift. 

She hears the darkness complaining, in sparks of light and loud humming, like machinery would.

_Are you sure this is the right idea?_

_Think. Think!_

“Why does closing a portal takes a second--” Renee pulls, again, _again_ \-- “but making a fucking portal from the inside... takes so much out of me--” 

“What’s happening?!” 

_Why are you doing this?_

“Don’t worry, Nat,” Renee says, sticking her hands on the reflection deeper, “it’s not like it’s going to ki--”

Before she knew it, sparks of light overwhelmed her vision, and she felt her body forcibly fling itself across the void. 

_There’s other ways._

_Why this?_

She could immediately feel several parts of her body hurting as her consciousness slowly returns, and she becomes more aware of her surroundings. She’s back in her room, head and body cradled on Natalie’s lap, the rest of them on her rickety bed, as the engineer is soothing sore parts and trying to check for any injuries. 

While Renee feels Natalie’s hands tend to her, she glances at the portal. 

It changed… it’s no longer the large portal like it is earlier. It’s turned into a wide yet faint line floating in the space of her room, like she ripped off reality itself. Maybe that’s what she did... There’s an unfamiliar odd hum from it, like how she expects an engine to sound.

“What... was I out long?” 

“No, not really,” Natalie says. The engineer lets Renee sit up, and already the skirmisher feels spots that weren’t sore when she entered the portal. She saw the shelf they just fixed… and it’s wrecked again. It’s easy to assume that’s where she landed when she got flinged off the void--

The door suddenly slams open, and Anita bursts in, still wearing pajamas. The soldier looks like she just got woken up, and is very angry about it. She’s also holding her radio in her hands.

“What the fuck are you two doing?” Anita sounds annoyed, but still rather soft, probably in consideration of the other legends still sleeping.

_What was that?_

“Uh….” Renee stands up perplexed with the voice in her head, and rather unsure how to summarize what exactly they’re doing, or if she should even explain it to Bangalore of all people. “Portal things?” 

_Did you say something, Bangalore?_ Renee hears one of her voices… respond? 

“Ugh, I want nothing to do with that,” Anita says, already walking off and uninterested. “You better disconnect me from the radio channel. And I thought I’d get a full night of sleep...” 

As Anita walks off, Renee immediately clutches Natalie’s shoulders in excitement. “Natalie! Nat! Nat! It’s working!”

Of course, Natalie seems just as excited as she is even if she doesn’t know what’s happening yet. “What? What’s working?”

“The other Wraith heard that! It’s working!” 

* * *

For the next few days, Renee spent most of her days just observing the portal and listening intently to the specific voice in her head in reaction to whatever sound is nearby the portal. Most of the time, whatever Renee hears the loudest, the Wraith on the other side hears too, and it is so easy to tell which voice in her head is reacting to the environment. 

In the next few days, the other Wraith hears the other legends passing by her room, but when a match happened the next day, the barracks were silent, so no one really passed by, and the other Wraith seems awkwardly silent. 

Renee even tries screaming directly at the rip one time just to check if it elicits a reaction. Sure enough, it did, and she couldn’t stop smiling about it for the rest of the day.

She also tries speaking back to the void, like she usually does, but the other Wraith seems to not know where to direct her messages, so she has never really responded. Renee almost feels drunk in control with this despite that. She never had this much interaction with another version of herself, and it’s bizarre that right now, she’s the one guiding herself somewhere. To where exactly? A better life? To find answers? To discover what their similarities are? Or is she just using other iterations of herself to find her past?

Well, at least one Wraith in the mobius strip knows what she’s doing. If she’s going down the right way, at least.

One night, after discussing her findings with Natalie, the engineer begins talking to her about work, on how she got invited to teach at a nearby college, and the skirmisher was so excited for such an opportunity that she offers to become her test class and learn her topic as Natalie talks about material science. 

For a long while, she’s content with listening to Natalie talk about things she has no idea about. She enjoys about a good hour or so of genuinely being interested in the engineer’s topic, that she notices immediately when Natalie pauses and laughs. 

“Why do you want to learn this, anyway? If anything breaks, I can fix it for you.”

To be completely honest, she didn’t really know she’d like to learn material science until now, but there’s another reason. “I like listening to you.” 

Natalie laughs. “Well, I’m glad that makes you happy, _ma cherie._ ” 

“I’m glad you know that I’ll listen to you read a phonebook if it comes to it.”

… _Am I imagining this?_ The Wraith from the other side asks. 

As Natalie finishes up her lesson and they talk more, Renee realizes that they do have their similarities. 

She’s just not quite there yet.

“ _Do you know now?”_ Renee says back into the void. 

As usual, the other Wraith doesn’t answer. 

But Renee is pretty confident she knows where to go now. 

* * *

“I need to go now,” Natalie says, packing up her textbooks. “Some of my pylons need fixing…” 

“It’s okay.” Renee helps her with some of her items, leaving behind a textbook she borrowed so she has something to read while waiting. “I’m glad you came over.”

Natalie seems excited. After all, she was just told that Renee is about to meet another version of herself. “I’ll pass by when I’m done... is that okay?” 

“That’s all right.” The skirmisher is a little scared of being left to her own devices, but it’s just… her. There’s no danger. She tries not to make her anxiety show. “Take care. Wear gloves, okay?” 

Natalie laughs at that, and she gently closes the door behind her, heading off to the workshop to presumably work for the next few hours or so. 

Renee misses her already.

She decides not to dwell on it too much, and busies herself with Natalie’s textbook. It’s as entertaining as it is useful to her personally. She bores herself for a few hours, thinking the whole time that it would be easier to learn all this if Natalie was there-- 

The hum from the void rip suddenly grows in volume. The lights and stars from it flicker, and she hears sparks for a split second. Suddenly, hands emerge from the void, and it grabs at the edges and pushes themselves further into the space of her room.

The person -- the Wraith -- coughs and clears her throat and breathes, and takes a second to get accustomed to the air and the surroundings, taking a while to watch and look around the room.

Renee clears her throat, and the Wraith turns to her direction. 

“Hi.”

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HO BOY! THOSE LAST FEW WEEKS HUH.........  
> I have a lot to say in these notes, so here we go:
> 
>   * Thank you to ptanalo for beta-reading this chapter a bit. Managed to fix mistakes I didn't notice because of her.
>   * I changed the title and the summary a little, just to match the story a bit more. I'm indecisive, sorry.
>   * Yeah, those side characters are all my OCs. The Skaale sisters are just OCs I inserted here as Apex staff for fun, while the legend mentioned as the kill leader may actually come back soon in a later chapter. If you've been on [my Twitter](https://twitter.com/lumenizampel), you'll know who she is, and why she's there. :) I apologize in advance for my shamelessness. I hope my OCs didn't ruin the fun. 
>   * I somehow got a job in the middle of this mess!!! Nice, right!! I've been in a pretty good writing pace recently, so I just hope it continues despite my new work.
>   * Lastly, the next chapter will have some horror elements. It will be the only chapter with that, the rest is safe, but... yeah, just a warning! I wrote an outline for the full fic, so oops
> 



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